So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
