Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
