Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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