I wish I could teleport
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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