Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
