How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
