Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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