Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
