just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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