Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
