dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
