Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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