I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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