How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize