it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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