Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize