i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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