I could make wine with my vomit
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just gargled with NyQuil
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
