"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
