I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
