We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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