I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
