just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
