So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
