there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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