South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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