YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
