Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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