they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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