Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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