non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
