I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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