Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
