therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think i peed on brittanys purse
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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