Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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