chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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