You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she peed on how many people?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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