I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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