Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
