She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
