omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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