I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
whose ass print is on the piano?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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