hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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