his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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