you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
