oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So here I am, sexting at work.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
