Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
