you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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