hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
