She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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