Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
