covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
