I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
