at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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