How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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