I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
