she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
