I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
