I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bring me that man meat
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
