Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
